Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Stick A Cork In It!

Savoring a First Round Win

What's the deal with baseball celebrations? The 2009 postseason versions started with the Dodgers sweep over St. Louis, followed by the Angles, Yankees and Phillies, as all four teams basked in the bubbly after first round wins.

Don't get me a wrong I'm all for celebrating, but cracking open the Cristal for advancing? In a best of 5, no less. Give me a break!

Here's a look at teams recently moving on in the playoffs:

Remember the Penguins popping Dom Perignon corks in Philadelphia after beating the Flyers in the first round? What about the Orlando Magic savoring Asti Spumanti when they ousted Boston in the second round? And who can forget the Eagles spraying Moet & Chandon all over the Meadowlands locker rooms on their way to the NFC title game?

Of course none of those playoff parties happened because it would be ridiculous if they did.

Memo to Major League baseball: A first round win doesn't warrant a championship celebration. It makes the league, the teams and the players look ridiculous.

Here are the official Gorilla Guidelines on appropriate champagne (and/or Brett Myers Budwieser) celebrations.

* Playoff Clinching Wins (It's a long regular season, congratulations!)

* World Series Championships

That's it!

The primate committee considered allowing teams to hang plastic in the clubhouse following League Championship Series clinchers, but that's just as tacky as the 2009 N.L. East Division t-shirts I see in suburban Philadelphia.

Unfortuately these guidelines are too late for this year's playoffs, but hopefully someone will get the word out for next season.